Thursday, April 07, 2005

How to kill the moment

I recently managed to achieve two things simultaneously:

1. Totally humiliate myself
2. Scare off an attractive woman who came up to me in the Hairy Canary.

Recently I was in the Hairy Canary having a beer with a friend (a chic bar in little Collins street), when an attractive women whom I had noticed and been looking at from time to time came over to me.

Walking over she smiled while performing a flick of the hair.

“Hi, how’s your night been?” She smiled.

This is where you need to take note such situations do not happen very often to me. With this added pressure on me, I aimed to lower the voice and rumble out a very manly.

“Fantastic, yourself?”

I was aiming to make a simple response and keep the conversation going.

Unfortunately, my speech broke and an extremely high pitched “Fantasic” squeaked out. Stopping there, I coughed and continued.

However, the damage was done, my friend was laughing and ribbing me and she did not like the added attention. (Nor do I think the squeaky voice).

So the moral:

1. Life sucks.
2. God is a very cruel man

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Jazz at the Bennet’s Lane Jazz Club

When you think of jazz, you would think of cities such as New Orleans, New York, Paris, Hong Kong (Yes, Hong Kong imports some of the best Jazz Acts), but not Melbourne.

I agree, Melbourne is a bit light on for Jazz, however, a small club down a back lane of Little Lonsdale Street would have to be the best local jazz club.

That is unfortunately until my little experience last night.

The club has 2 sections, a smaller and larger bar. Usually for weekends and popular acts, the larger bar would be open. This time was different…… I queued at the back for a $24 ticket show. Thinking that this would be a fantastic act, I was happy to hand over the cash for my date and I.

After one and a half hour act of comedy the place closed, no jazz. Needless to say this got me a little annoyed. $24 for entrance into a Jazz club and “No Jazz!”.

When leaving I decided to try the front bar, and headed for the warm sounds of a double bass, piano, and brush drums.

Up I walk to the front. “$8, please” from the door bitch (an affectionate Australian term for ladies collecting cash at the door). I showed my stamp from the other show and explained I have already paid $24 dollars (per person that is). She explained that it doesn’t matter.

My response, “No chance in hell” and I walked out, past the queue of people waiting to get in.

Well this must have been a shock as they are so popular that no “one walks out of the Bennet’s Lane Jazz Club”. A small man came running after me. “Hey, you want to listen to jazz?”. “Yes, I explained”.

Moving through the crowd to an empty table at the front of the club, the manager sat my date and I down. “Sorry, he smiled”. After that, the night was as normal at Bennets Lane. Very good.

So, thank you to the manager of the Bennet’s Lane Jazz Club, and his understanding, and if in Melbourne and you like Jazz, Bennet’s Lane…..

Saturday, March 26, 2005

The 2 suppers

How could I start writing about where I live without telling you where to go?

Well all I can say is visit the 2 suppers.

Firstly for dinner go to the good, and cheap supper inn. A Chinese restaurant down a back street of China Town. I stumbled past it one night looking for something different. If you like fresh seafood and Chinese food then this is your place.

As for drinks.

The Melbourne Supper Club. Need I say more……

This is the place to be and they stay open till 5am. A classy wine bar where you can relax and enjoy the best wine in town. If you love wine like myself you will love the 50+ page wine list.

Mmm my recent drinks which I have enjoyed there:

1979 Glenrothe single malt.
1997 Fox Creek Family Reserve Cab Sav.
1962 De’ Lelord Armagnac

Ok so I am a wine snob. (ps bring your cheque book).

Friday, March 25, 2005



The world’s most livable city; the best capital city to live in Australia and the World. Well at least according to the UN.

Having lived in the outer suburbs of Melbourne all my life, the city has been mainly unexplored for me. Now being a single male and a real CBD resident (yes the CBD the real Melbourne), I have found the City is a totally different world from the suburbs.

So, as it happens I will tell it.